I think I'd like to...

...send a video of my six year old begging for more toys to the marketing personnel at Hasbro to let them know that their scheme is working and that they can move onto marketing sexual dysfunction drugs instead.

...ship all of my Christmas gifts, boxed and wrapped only in their decorative packaing, and blame the carrier when the bows are ripped and the paper is torn.

...work as a customer service representative people can yell at me for things that aren't my fault. Then I could smile nicely and say "Have a crappy day."

...figure out how to make a living doing something that I love. I love to read. Anyone want to hire me?

...make apostrophe abuse a crime punishable by law. Take that, Two Week[']s Notice.