Things You Learn By Having Boys

I don't often blog about my kids, on purpose. I'm a little fearful, I guess, about what might happen either now or later. But I never would have learned the following if I didn't have boys.

1. Lego guys don't need hands. In fact, it's better if they don't have hands because it gives you an excuse to dump out the whole bucket and find the hands at the very bottom.
2. Football cards aren't just for learning stats about the players. They also can be used to play football with, just like action figures.
3. It's very cool to jump from the top bunk of the bed to the floor. Never mind that your brother is standing there and you out weigh him by 15 pounds. He'll catch you.

Boys are so very different than girls. And I wasn't a girly-girl either. I love kids.

Love in my House

Posted as part of Scribbit's February Write-Away Contest.

Love is simple, and oh so very complicated. I love my dogs. I walk in the door and man, are they excited to see me. They jump, they yip, they slather me with attention.

My kids do the same, except for the yipping.

That's the simple part. The complicated part comes later when my four year old asks me to find a toy that's been missed placed. Are you the GPS locator for every missing toy and device in your home also? When I can't immediately stop what I'm doing and assist, it's "Mom, I don't love you any more. You don't ever help me." Never mind the fact that as soon as I walk into the room, the lost toy is instantly found by one of us.

The complicated part for my other son, a seven year old that has two moms and a dad is the two moms part. He loves his birth mother and me, the stepmom. Yet I'm not mom, I'm Stacie and she's Mom. Yet I'm his brother's mom and Dad is Dad no matter who says it. See how it work in his head? See why he gets confused if he doesn't completely jive?

Love should be easy. I believe that all love should be like my dogs - glad, happy, yipping. The complications come from the rest of the world's influences on what "they" believe the relationship should be like.

For Valentine's Day, I'm going to keep it simple. No gifts, no boxes of chocolates, no flowers. Instead, I'm going to write each of my guys a letter and make it snazzy with some clipart. "Fourteen reasons I love you" should help them, and me, to keep it simple and not let the rest of the world influence our relationship.

How do you tell your loved ones what makes them special? Leave a comment and I'll post a link. If you don't blog, I'll feature you as a guest blogger.

My Favorite Day

When I was single, and had whole weekends to indulge in my own whims, instead of the whims of my family, I loved finding chocolate-covered cherries in the stores.

This Christmas favorite as signaled an afternoon of indulgence. BUy a box and a romance novel. Combine with some candles and whatever classic cd was my favorite. I'd lose myself in both the chocolates and the story.

Today, I couldn't imagine gonig more than 15, maybe 20, minutes without a problem to solve or a request to share the chocolates. And while I may miss the solitude, I won't miss the downside -- no bellies to tickle, no sticky hugs or kisses, no one to share with.

I find today, surrounded by memories and happenings, to be the best day.

***

Entered in Scribbit's Write-Away Contest for December 2007

Managing Smart

Best Buy has implemented some work principles that I could really get behind. Or make me want to work for them.

Smashing The Clock

At most companies, going AWOL during daylight hours would be grounds for a pink slip. Not at Best Buy. The nation's leading electronics retailer has embarked on a radical--if risky--experiment to transform a culture once known for killer hours and herd-riding bosses. The endeavor, called ROWE, for "results-only work environment," seeks to demolish decades-old business dogma that equates physical presence with productivity. The goal at Best Buy is to judge performance on output instead of hours.

It makes sense on so many levels that it is scary. It would involve trust. It would involve meaningful measurements. The potential is enormous. I know of a few employees who would appreciate the flexibility of working after their kids are in bed and during their school hours.

I applaud Best Buy for realizing that not every job means that you need to have your butt in a chair for 40 or more hours a week.

Painting with the Kids

I like to paint with my kids. There's something great about making a picture of your house or family and sticking it on the fridge when you are done.

I have a few rules that must be followed or I'll take all of the painting gear.

1. Painting is only done outside.
2. Cleaning up is mandatory for all involved parties.
3. You must mix your own colors.

To make that last rule a bit easier and more fun for all, I found an old cupcake pan at the local Salvation Army. It's not the sort that washes up easily any more for baked goods but makes great containers for mixing paint that won't tip easily.

At first my boys were annoyed that the green would run out and they'd need to make more. Inevitably it would be a slight different color. And they would moan and groan and ask me to help make it the same as before. Since I won't do it for them, we've learned how to adjust colors by adding a huge glob or just a few drops.

Instead of complaining, now they experiment with different shades of green or what happens when they don't mix it completely.

Painting is a favorite activity for all of us.

22 Things to do with your Kids and No (Little) Planning

1. Make paper airplanes
2. Host a video game tournament with your favorite racing game
3. Watch the clouds go by
4. Have a movie night, complete with popcorn
5. Have a picnic lunch in the living room
6. Take a bike ride together
7. Make cookies (yum!)
8. Color a picture
9. Write a story together
10. Put puzzles together
11. Make flash cards
12. Sing songs and record the session
13. Read a book
14. Act out the story
15. Then make a video of it
16. Write a letter to a relative in a different city or state
17. Build a city for your Hot Wheels cars
18. Practice impressions of people or animals
19. Blow bubbles
20. Make a daisy chain with dandelions
21. Play a board game
22. Celebrate a half birthday

Super Foods for Allergies

The next time my allergies start acting up, I'm going to review this site -- Allergy Fighting Super Foods at MSN.com

It's a quick slide show reviewing seven foods and the studies that back them up. Most of the suggestions (apples, canola oil, spinach) coincide with other healthy eating advice.

Actually, instead of waiting for the next allergy attack, most of these could be wedged into my current diet with a few small adjustments. I need to think this over.

Story Writing for Kids

Last Friday, I shared my scavenger hunt with you and left a teaser of how I expand that activity into another one.

After a couple of scavenger hunts, I decided to take a picture of the child with the scavenger item as a way of recording the memory and getting some great candids of them. I started taking photos of them running after they spotted the items, and as they checked it off. Really, the photos were telling the whole story.

Why not make a book of them?

Digital prints are inexpensive either at home or at a local photo shop. Three of them in my city regularly have specials for $0.10 copies. If you wait for one of these to run, this project should come in under $4.00.

I have the kids select the photos that they like the best. Just because I took it, doesn't mean that they liked it. In fact, the seven-year-old has told me a time or two that I take bad pictures of him.

Once they have their story in order, and the pictures have been printed, I dig out a photo album purchased from the dollar store.

The first time we did this, I had a wordless book from our library. I wanted to make sure that our book was just like the professionals and coached the kids into realizing we needed a cover, a title page, credits for our author and illustrator, along with acknowledgments.

We inserted the photos on the right hand side only, leaving the left hand side for our text. Adjust as needed, depending on the layout of the photo album. Our happened to have space for one 4x6 photo per page.

For the first book, I wrote the story, but the seven-year-old chipped in on the second one. Even the three-year-old added his contributions.

The boys love to share their stories with family and friends who come to visit.

Scavenger Hunt for Kids

I love taking walks in the summer. My oldest would rather ride his bike. My youngest would rather search for bugs in our backyard. I figured out a way to keep the three of us entertained, spend some quality time together, and let me get some much needed exercise.

We have scavenger hunts.

It's such a simple idea and requires 30 or 40 minute of prep work. I create two different lists, appropriate for each age level and interest of my boys.

The seven-year-old's list looks something like this:

• A blue pick-up truck
• Three skateboarders
• A red slide
• Two dogs
• A maple leaf
• Baseball players
• Soccer players

Note: We live near several athletic fields and finding teams on a weekend is pretty easy.

The three-year-old's list looks something like this:

• A ball
• A yellow flower (dandelion)
• A squirrel
• Ants
• A smooth rock
• A jagged rock
• Leaves

Once you've done this a few times, challenge them to write lists for each other. Helping each other out is easy as well. You'd be surprised what one will see without effort and will be challenging for the other.

Because the two lists are different, I can easily re-direct potential fights about who is done first or who has the most. Developing their sense of team work could be cut to a single word that is only used to remind them. Our is "peanuts" since each of them needs help from someone else to open the shells.

The next time we go scavenger hunting, I'm going to take along our digital camera. Tune in next Friday for that activity.

Building with Kids

Summer days are great for playing in the park, walks and bicycle rides. But for those occasional rainy days, a new activity is needed.

I love open-ended play that building blocks bring. But when that's all the kids have been playing with, they need something new.

One of my favorite alternatives to building blocks is building with gum drops and toothpicks. No matter what the age range, everyone can jump in. Mom's and Dad's contributions are welcome too.

I got my supplies at a dollar store. A box of 1,500 toothpicks (enough for the kids and for the kitchen) and a bag of gum drops or spice drops were $1.00 each and supplied plenty of materials.

I start the session with a challenge. I make it easy enough for the youngest in the group. Some suggestions are

• Can you make a square?
• Can you make a triangle?
• etc.

The next step is to expand and challenge the kids. Can you turn a square into a house? Or a cat? What about a horse? Mom and Dad can really be creative here. I recently built a soccer ball when my seven year old challenged me.

What are you waiting for? Get out the toothpicks and gum drops! Have fun.

Nightmares

Pickle Boy has been having nightmares lately. About frogs. They jump all over him and he wakes up crying.

We're not sure what triggered the nightmares, as he's never really had them before, he's a good sleeper (you can have a party in the room next to his, as long as it starts after he fell asleep.) He will be four this summer, so it's not the generic night terrors that two years sometimes get.

His father and I don't have a solution, but Ollie, now seven, did.

"Just change your dream. When they jump on you, pull out your light saber and fight them like this." Picture Stars Wars-like Jedi moves.

It just might work.

Saving Money During Laundry

I've been reading The Simple Dollar for a while, but this post really caught my eye.

I’ve been experimenting with making lots of cleaning supplies at home, but this one is by far the craziest - and the most successful. Basically, I made a giant bucket of slime that works incredibly well as laundry detergent at a cost of about three cents a load. For comparison’s sake, a jumbo container of Tide at Amazon.com costs $28.99 for 96 loads, or a cost of $0.30 a load. Thus, with each load of this stuff, I’m saving more than a quarter. Even better - I got to make a giant bucket of slime in the kitchen and my wife approved of it.

Tempting, isn't it? I haven't tried it out, but I'm interested. My husband would think I'm crazy, but I think that if stored the soap in old detergent containers, he might not ever notice.

Not that I would be deceptive like that...

:)

One Man's Experience with Abortion

DBB, a 30-something, nerdy-looking, atheist, libertarian-leaning lawyer from Michigan had a thought-provoking post on abortion.

Then I had to wrestle with this issue in my own life. My wife was pregnant. No, it wasn't unexpected. It was about as planned as it gets without using a fertility doctor, though thankfully, we did it the old fashioned way (much cheaper). Things were fine, until about six weeks in. Then she started to have some bleeding. Obviously, this is a great concern. We thought we lost the baby.

Full article here.

This sound be required reading for both sides of the debate.

via Kottke.org

Reader Maps

I love it when parents' extend an activity, like reading, into other things, like writing stories. Scribbit took it one step further.

In second grade Spencer was having difficulty reading. Books didn’t interest him and he didn’t want to expend the energy to get past the one-word-at-a-time phase that was holding him back.

I knew of Tony Abbott’s fantasy series The Secrets of Droon and came up with an activity for Spencer and his best friend. I bought a yard of canvas, hemmed the edges, folded it in half, rolled it into a tube and tied it with a leather lace. Presenting it to Spencer with a copy of the first book, I proposed that as the boys read the series they could use permanent markers to create a map of Droon on the canvas.

This is one of the numerous activities that I recall from my Kiddie Lit course. I'm thrilled to see a real life experience, and to be reminded of it. I have my own reluctant reader (gasp!) and can't wait to do this with him.

My Son, the Weed Pusher

Conversation between the daycare provider and Pickle Boy, the almost four year old, who has spent the last five minutes picking weeds.

Pickle Boy: Money for weed?

Daycare Provider: No, I don't want to buy your weed.

Explanation: Grandma pays him to pick weeds. Shouldn't everyone?

This probably isn't as funny as the relayed conversation sounded.

Happy Easter! Mommy and Daddy Lied to You

How was your Easter?

I'm interrupting the book review schedule for a topic of some concern. Please, bear with me.

We did the Easter baskets and egg hunt on Saturday evening. Since we weren't joining any major family gathering on Sunday, it made since for Ollie to go with his mom to her family gathering.

But we wanted to have the fun of Easter baskets and the egg hunt. My mom obliged us by admiring the fixed bed in the boys' room (the one that she had already seen) while the hubby and I stashed plastic eggs in the living room, set out the baskets and made sure everything was out of the reach of the puppies.

When everything was ready, my husband opened the front door and called out, "Thanks, Easter Bunny! See you next year!"

At which point the kids came tumbling down the steps to check out their goodies.

As much fun as it was to watch their excited little bodies race through the living room, I felt a twinge of guilt.

We lied to them. Not a white lie to make them feel better like a Mommy's kiss makes it better. Or a lie of omission when you don't tell them the real reason about why you can't go to Disney World (it's too effing expense, kid. It has nothing to do with how long of a drive it is.)

No, this is the blatant, bold face lie that is told for Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and any other depositor of free goods. I hate doing it.

I do it because of peer pressure. How crappy would it be for my kids not participate in the day after sharing with their buddies? To return to school/day care and confess that the Easter Bunny didn't bring them anything? Truly awful, I believe.

Yet, what does it do to the parent/child relationship when the child discovers that all of those presents have been purchased by Mom and Dad? What did it do to you?

I remember what it did to my eight year old brain. I remembered thinking that I couldn't trust my parents. If they were lying about that, what else did they lie about? I don't recall any specifics, but I remember questioning other "facts" my parents told me.

I might have been the oddly precocious child, to apply this truth to more than the relevant situation. Other circumstances probably affected it as well. My father had passed away that October; I don't recall whether the revelation about Santa Claus came before or after that. But I do remember that the truth undermined my trust.

To compound the matter yesterday, Ollie, the seven year old, asked, "So what did the Easter Bunny look like?" I anticipated this question and had an answer sort of ready. Well, I didn't but one came anyway.

"He's really tall, with black and white fur and wears a bowtie."

"Cool."

At least he'll have a really good story to share about the Easter Bunny when he goes back to school. Even if I feel guilty.

Blueberry Soup by Scribbit

Blueberry Soup isn't something found at my house. But I can see it's appeal for the Alaskan winter that Scribbit faces. She explains where she got the recipe, as well as what her family thinks of it.

I doubt that mine would even try it, should I make it. I'm tempted, I must admit. The antioxidants alone would make it worth while. Combine that with the promises of "filling" and I'm thinking through the ingredients and what can I tell my family to make them consider it.

Maybe if I served it with a side of ice cream...